mamahood · mom life · new mama

Gross Things We’ve All Done: Thanks, Mamahood

Mamahood is beautiful, I won’t lie.

It’s fulfilling yet trying. It gives you a love you never knew you could have, and at the same time tests your levels of patience.

It’s a mixture of laughs and tears, of long days and longer nights.

It’s the job that has no leave days, no sick days, loss of sleep and high levels of stress. Where the paycheck comes with kisses and hugs.

Yet it’s a job we all love. Sometimes. While it’s awesome, it comes with a couple of flaws. Particularly gross ones.

Before I became a mama, I never thought I’d do or go through any of these things.

Amazingly, I’ve dealt with a lot of gross things. Three kids will give you those opportunities. Should some of these things have happened to me with someone else’s kids, I won’t lie, I probably wouldn’t have handled it as well as I handle it with my own kids. I’m semi-immune to my own already.

No matter how many times you’ve gone through these, you’re still caught by surprise by some of them. Most probably because these situations aren’t situations you see yourself in often. Yet, being a mama, it comes with the territory. Thanks, mamahood.

Catching vomit in your hands so you can save the carpet

I don’t know why I thought this would be a good idea, trying to catch as much vomit as possible in my hands while Monster projectiled it everywhere. But I did…

Scraping off flakey skin from your baby’s head due to cradle cap

Cay was the only kid that had cradle cap and some days I found myself peeling off the flakes. Because… I don’t really have a good reason for it except that it worked better than trying to comb them out.

Leaving home with dried out food or spit up on your clothes

Sometimes because you don’t notice it because you’re in a hurry to leave and sometimes because there’s no time to change.

Letting kids pee in the bath

There’s no real harm, right?

Celebrating the end of your kids constipation streak

It’s the small victories!

Catching your kids unwanted chewing up food in your hands

Before you have a chance to say no or get something you can catch it in, your kid has already deposited the food into your hand.

Eating your kids left overs

You don’t want to really waste any food, even if it’s partially chewed already.

Chocolate or poop or mud?

Trying to determine if the brown spot on their pants could be one of the three above mentioned options.

The lifting and sniffing

In public or at home, we all do this. To make sure if it was just a ugly fart or something more.

Instead of cutting, biting your kids food in half

Because you can save on time as well as extra things to clean up later on.

Gagging a couple of times when your kid has left a big sticking one

We’ve all been there, those stinkers are hectic.

Using your fingers to fish out snot from your kids nose

Sometimes it works better than a wet wipe. And you’ve accidentally misplaced the deceive you usually use.

Getting peed on during a nappy change

Every parent goes through this.

Getting projectile pooped on during a nappy change

And this too.

Accidentally sticking your finger into a poop filled nappy

Third kid in and this still happens to me.

Washing out soiled underwear

Those darn potty training days.

Washing poop off of walls

When your kid is still learning to wipe their butts and you’re left sanitizing the whole bathroom, toilet, walls and floors included. Or when your toddler realized they can take off their nappy and create canvas with it.

Using your teeth to give your kid a mani and pedi

The only time they allow you to do the grooming is when you’re nibbling on their fingers and toes.

Tasting your own breast milk

I was curious and wanted to know what my babies are drinking too.

Getting kisses from a kid who has been eating mud

Sometimes there’s just no time to move out of the way or clean them up before the mud is partially transferred to your face.

Fighting off pink eye and hoping it doesn’t spread

Cleaning out the goo… Yuck!

Using spit to clean your kid’s face

It works well as a quick clean up method!

Licking a dummy clean

Sometimes there’s no time for a proper clean when your baby is screaming blue murder for it. You can wash out your mouth from the sand once they have calmed down again.

Cleaning out food from under the couch and couch cushions

It’s one of those “When did we have Pizza?” situations.

Stick your hand in the toilet to get toys out

I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve put a plastic bag on my hand to get toys out of the toilet.

Investigate poop and compare it to the chart you saved on your phone

How else are you going to make sure your baby’s poop is normal??

How many gave you gone through? What gross things have you endured as a mama that weren’t on the list?

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