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 Why I love having a daughter

Guys, I know Cay has only been with us just over seven months now, but I just LOVE how quickly everyone (specifically the boys) have adjusted to having a baby at home again!

Not only a baby, but a GIRL baby. Yep, that gets pointed out because the boys aren’t use to having another female living in our home. None of us, as a matter of fact!

And so far it’s been amazing!

Ever since I found out that we were expecting a girl, it was like a switch went off in my brain. I’ve been used to being a boy mama for so many years, I never expected to have a daughter, let alone another baby! Especially a daughter though, because the stats were 85% to have another boy. 

Yep, she beat those odds and I couldn’t be happier, because for those that have known me for a while, and have read previous posts I wrote (like this one although it doesn’t count 100% anymore), you will know how BADLY I’ve wanted a daughter. 

And I know seven months and a few weeks can’t possibly give me enough reasons to write this, but when that switch went off in my brain, I didn’t just think about the present but also the future; what the future holds with having a daughter. It’s not all about cute dresses and dolls (although, come on, those reasons are pretty awesome). It’s about shaping her future; teaching her skills and lessons, so that one day she’ll be ready to face the world as she grows into a woman. It’s a scary thought that one day she will be a wife and a mama herself and it lies with us to teach her and to guide her in the best possible ways to be the best she can possible be.

Here are the reasons why I love having a daughter.

The clothes

I never knew there were soooo many clothing options for girls. I mean, there is definately a lot more variety of clothing than for boys. Sometimes, walking down the aisles is overwhelming because you want EVERYTHING! All the dresses, and the cute matching outfits and the frills and the pink! While everything is beautiful and you want it all to dress your little girl in, you have to restrain yourself.. because you’ll most probably end up broke. Which means you won’t have money for…

The accessories

I love accessories myself, but I didn’t think you could purchase all the kinds for little girls too. Headbands (don’t get me started) are a given with me, and I think Cay has more headbands at this stage than I do! And you think, why would she need so many?? But they are cute and they are awesome to use to dress her up!! Also stockings! Hair clips!! You get where I’m going with this…

The hair 

Now I know Cay still has short hair but I’ve already googled the different ways you can do up hair and there are so many possibilities! I can’t wait to try them out and I know it’s going to take some practice before I get them right (here’s to hoping she has a good supply of pateince). Also I can’t wait to see Hubby Byren trying this too, because he did ask me a couple of months ago if he’s going to have to learn to do these things as well. Yes, yes you are.

The nappy changes

You know how awesome nappy changes are with a girl? As soon as that nappy is off, you don’t have to worry about being peed on! I know it’s a weird reason to have on here.. But when you have two boys already and almost every nappy change resulted in you being peed on, NOT being peed on now is a silver lining!

The memories

Your memories in particular. Your childhood. How awesome will it be to relive childhood memories through your daughter. The toys. The role playing. The imagination. The dress up. 

The nicknames

Cay has one nickname, ‘Hasie‘ meaning Bunny in Afrikaans. Hubby Byren gave her the nickname and it has stuck with everyone in our home. Now although she has a nickname already, it hasn’t stopped me from coming up with my own nicknames, like Sunflower or Ladybug. It’s not like I go out of my way to come up with them, they just pop in my head when I see her. And I love it!!

The femininity

I’ve always thought myself to be quite feminine even when I was just a boy mama, but now that we have a daughter, it seems to want to shine through more. I only wear dresses when we go out somewhere (and only if they are breastfeeding friendly) but now I’m wearing them more often at home as well. And much to Hubby Byren’s delight as he always tells me he loves seeing me in dresses.

The best friends

I can’t wait to see my relationship with Cay grow and unfold and only become stronger over the years. I know there will be days (and possibly certain years) where our relationship will be rocky but it’s all part of growing up.

The role model

I know that I have to be a role model for our boys as well, but I never thought about the pressure of being a role model for a girl. If I don’t do things right myself, how will I teach her not to do the same? If I don’t look after myself, how will I teach her about the importance of self-care? Or being a lady? Or how she should be treated versus what our society portrays?

The stereotypes

I know when everyone looks at a girl, they expect a sweet nature surrounded by dolls and tea sets and cute frilly clothing. That’s all great, but why shouldn’t those frilly dresses not be covered in mud and dirt? Why can’t the sweet nature be accompanied by gentleness and nurture as well as independence, a fiery spirit and the ability to stand up for youself? Here’s to breaking stereotypes and raising strong and confident daughters!!

The Daddy’s girl

It took a while for Cay to grow close to Hubby Byren and now it’s like she’s always known him. Every time she sees him, it’s like he’s the only one there and she calls out to get his attention. If he’s leaving the room, she stares into the direction, with a frown on her face. And when he returns, it’s like watching joy spread all over her as she bounces, smiles and coos. Hubby Byren has this thing about his face being touched which is a big no-no and so far she’s been the only one who has the privilege to do it non-stop! It’s amazing to see their relationship growing each day, growing closer and stronger.

The twin

I can’t WAIT to start matching with hairstyles and outfits. I mean, if you aren’t at least trying, are you even living?? Okay, jokes aside, as I know it’s not for everyone, but I’ve seen the boys and Hubby Byren shirt match without even planning it and it looked so awesome and I wondered how I could fit into it? And now I can!! I already saved a couple of dress photos for the future that I would love to have made for Cay and myself to dress up in and match, and look awesome!

The understanding

Being a female myself, I know what lies ahead for Cay. Puberty, boys, heartbreaks, mean friends, standards of society, first love (although I was lucky, my first love became my husband) and so on. Having been through it all gives me a perspective and an understanding of what is to come and how she will feel, and will help me help her cope, understand and move through it.

Here’s what other mamas have had to say about what they love about having a daughter:

“My daughter is like my best friend, and now that she’s a teenager, and we have our hard days of clashing, she always comes back to me for advice and comfort and support.” – Amanda, 37

“I was never the girly type of girl growing up, but I’m loving every moment of the experience with my own daughter.” – Leslie, 30

“Having a daughter has changed my life; how I think, how I act, how I handle different situations. She has changed me into a better person and helped me with growing up.” – Jeniffer, 24

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