Random Thoughts

Things I’ve Learned in Five Years of Marriage

SPRINGTIME (6)Hubby Byren and I recently celebrated our five year anniversary with a romantic night away, from well, everything.

In light of the celebration, I got to thinking how far we have come in this time (although we’ve been together for seven years in total). It’s been nothing short of a rollercoaster ride, I kid you not. With many ups and downs, some downs leading to the path of divorce more than once, somehow, against the odds I’ll say, we managed to stay together and continue moving forward. We recently realized as well that all the times we were down in the dumps was because we were more focused on helping others and making sure they came out fine on the other side, not thinking about how negatively it was reflecting on our marriage.

Besides that part, I have to say that we learned more about marriage in the last six months than in the time before that. While no one is an expert going into marriage, somewhere we really did miss the plot, and going through a separation at the end of last year made us realize what we were about to lose.

I have learned quite a bit in the last while; learned things that take some couples years and years to face and accept and adjust and adapt to. We experienced a lot of hardships continuously which some might only experience in 10, maybe more, years. Ours were constant and seeing no ends meeting. While I wish our marriage had been easier from the beginning, I don’t exactly regret all our troubles because they made us stronger and they made us realize that love can withstand a lot, especially when you stand in unity and work through things together.

While I can’t say I’m some expert on the subject, I can say that I have experiences have brought through some clarity that I’m grateful for because our marriage did turn into something wonderful. Although we still have our ups and downs every so often, we handle them differently, standing together as one.1502574_1089187444426905_4863147335712023563_n

I want to share what I have learned about marriage in the last few months with you, and maybe you can find some clarity in your own marriage through it.

Our marriage is the single most important relationship.

You’re not the same people as the day you got married.

When you think you’ve tried everything, know you haven’t.

Choose your battles.

Forget the chances of not going to bed angry.

Disappointment is unavoidable.

Having a sense of humor is crucial.

Be each other’s safe place.

When people say marriage is hard, believe them!

It never gets easier, and that’s okay.

Give up hope of being perfectly understood.

Admit your short comings.

Be the first to apologize.

Accept apologies.

You don’t need a big fancy wedding to feel married.

Your definition of sexy will change over time.

You don’t have to have the same interests.

Compromise is necessary.

Communication is key.

Everyone needs alone time.

Limited time together is used more wisely.

Dating is important!

No one cares if you’re not wearing make-up.

The toilet seat isn’t worth the argument.

Marriage will teach you more about yourself than you’ll realize.

What are some lessons you have learned in your marriage? Did things get easier with those lessons being exercised into everyday life?

4 thoughts on “Things I’ve Learned in Five Years of Marriage

    1. We have been skipping out on the dating part a little, but more of going out and doing something. As soon as things settle a little after the move, I think it will be time to make it a priority again. At this point, date night is take always and movies at home 😂

  1. Oh I agree so much with you on this post, thank you for sharing it. Being not the same people as when you married… having a sense of humor… dating… apologize… actually everything.

    May be the only things I would add is to accept the other one’s intention for something was good, and communication.

    Congratulations on your anniversary!

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