Having a baby is a life changing decision. As with every major decision in life, it shouldn’t be taken lightly. Bringing a baby into the world is a lifelong commitment and once you’re on your way, there’s no turning back. It’s also not the type of decision that is made from having one discussion with your partner or decided after “sleeping on it”.
There are a couple of factors that need to be brought under attention but don’t worry, this might sound like a lot of thought and talking coming your way, but it shouldn’t be overwhelming. Whether you’re at that moment in your life where you know you’re ready, or maybe you’re just dreaming of the future, you can use the guidelines below to ease you into the decision-making.
While these guidelines can help you decide on when you want to start planning for a baby, please keep in mind that there is really no right time to have a baby. Life happens, and without really being completely sure if you’re ready or not, you could have a little bundle of the way. It happens. I know, because it happened to us twice. Hubby Byren and I discussed having kids and what our expectations were but we never actually planned on when we were going to start having kids. After Monster was born, we knew we wanted another child and we wanted to start trying again when Monster was around five years old. That was supposed to be the plan, you know. A month before Monster turned three, Gremlin joined our family.
So while planning doesn’t always go to plan, these guidelines can help you discuss your future and plan in accordance, and also see where your partner stands on the idea. After all, you can’t make a decision if bother aren’t standing in unity of that decision.
As I was writing this, I went through the guidelines myself and thought, “Would we be ready for a third?”. Hubby Byren and I decided we would only have two kids, no matter of the gender, but my heart always calls for another baby. I don’t know, maybe I just want a little female company in my life or maybe it’s about having a bigger family. Even though we made this decision before Gremlin was born, who knows what the future will hold?
But anyway, back to you here.
There’s a raw and deep responsibility that comes from having a baby. Your life directly affects another’s life. Your attitude, choices and words will affect how your child develops. It sounds like something we might not ever be ready for in total, but we can start building towards that day, today.
It’s no joke when people say having kids is expensive. It can be, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s important to have financial stability when having kids because there are always expenses surrounding them; nappies, formula, clothing, etc. If you’ve ever been in a baby store, you might have felt a little overwhelmed with all the products available! But in truth, you don’t need all of them, especially for a newborn baby. If you’re not sure if you’ll be able to afford a baby at the moment, you can always put in some time for research to give you an idea of how much you will be spending.
Learning, changing and growing
No matter how much research you do on raising kids, you won’t be prepared for what’s coming. It’s motherhood; it changes, it grows, it never gets old. Whatever set ideas you might already have about raising kids could be challenged later on, and if you’re not willing to change your opinions and perspectives on approaching the situations with an open mind, you’ll just make things harder for yourself.
You know that expression ‘Charity starts at home‘? It’s basically the same with love. If you can’t love yourself, you won’t really know how to love others. If we don’t know how to take care of ourselves, we won’t know how to extend it to others. As cheesy as this may sound, there is much truth to take from it.
Motherhood isn’t easy, especially when you juggling it on your own. Before we can reach motherhood, we need to go through pregnancy. Before we can go through pregnancy, we need to get pregnant. Having a support system right from the start is of course better, if you can have it that way. If you’re not sure if you have one already, then it’s time to start putting one together.
Having a baby won’t just affect your life but also the life of your partner. It’s very important to be on the same thought pattern when considering having a baby. Supporting each other’s views and opinions is obviously important because you want to into this standing together, knowing that this is something both of you want.
I know this might sound like a silly thing to consider, but think about why you want to have a baby? Is it because of your age? Is it because it seems like the next thing to do after marriage? Is it because all the married couples you know are having kids and you feel like you’re falling behind? Is it pressure from family? Whatever the reason may be, you need to think about the reason you want to have a baby, and not be influenced by the decisions of others around you.
Remember that there is no right time to have a baby. Whether you feel you may be ready to have a baby or not, remember that no one can make the decision for you. While these guidelines give you a few things to think about, you will know best when you are ready to grow your family.