Yip, one of things I said I’d never be able to do, I’m doing.
On the bright side; the boys are alive, I’m alive and still sane (sort of).
This is a whole new ball game for me. I’m used to sitting behind a desk in an office, having adult conversations and having almost no time for anything else during the day. It was also the only time I really felt like I was my own person.
– If I wanted to eat something, I could eat in peace without anyone trying to take the food off my plate.
– I could go to the bathroom without an audience.
– My clothes stayed clean all day without me having to worry about them staining or becoming dirty within an hour.
– I was able to stay up later in the night to read or paint or write a bit.
– My home stayed cleaner for longer.
– The boys insist on eating the food on MY plate because it’s obviously much tastier than the exact same food on their plates.
– My bathroom breaks have become a rushed attempt of a quiet moment, while Gremlin sits on the floor, watching me, and Monster asking me if I enjoyed my pee.
– If I do manage to change out of my PJs by 10am, it’s usually into old clothes. That way if I stain them, I don’t cry about it being ruined. I mean, what’s one more stain then?
– Staying up late has become a myth. If I do manage to read a single page of my novel, it’s a success story. I hardly get time to write anymore as there are just too many distractions and too much noise surrounding me.
– My home staying clean is also a myth now. By the end of the day, it looks like all the known natural disasters have hit my home in one blow.
Since the boys are permanently at home with me now (until said future), it’s my responsibility to keep their education going.
This is still proving to be a challenge as they’re used to their school routine, and the teachers there knew exactly what they were doing. Me, on the other hand, I’m pretty clueless. I also tend to become impatient very quickly when the boys are naughty or not listening to instructions, which I’m busy working on.
The boys are also used to a lot more interaction with other adults and children, where now it’s just the three of us during the day, apart from our furbabies, so it’s up to me to make sure they’re entertained and not getting cabin fever.
Apart from teaching myself to be more patient, I need to teach myself to be more disciplined. Keeping to a specific routine so they know what to expect, in turn creating a structure for our days.When there’s an activity or lesson one of the boys isn’t interested in, I still need to push through with it to keep the discipline going.
I also need to be consistent and do lessons or activities with them each day and not skip out because I’m not feeling up to it that morning.
This is a learning curve for all three of us, and I do believe it’s going to get worse before it gets better as they continue to challenge my authority and rules.
On the bright side, I no longer have to worry about getting leave at work if either of them get sick or if I need to run errands during the week.
On the other side, I’m worried about when I get sick that I won’t be able to properly rest at home in peace and quiet.
I also need to remember to make time for myself, even if it’s just one hour in the evenings. It’s important not to lose yourself in the bustle. You still need to remain true to your own interests and hobbies. If you haven’t done this already, I would suggest finding something you love doing or would love to do, and doing it.
Just because we’re mothers, it doesn’t mean we’re not people with our own interests and aspirations.