Random Thoughts

The Missing Friendships

I can’t say that I’ve really had a big group of friends throughout my life. Sure, I’m a very laid back person, and I happen to meet people with ease and get along with different types of people. I just can’t call all of them friends. Acquaintances, yes. Not friends.

I have my two or three best friends. Those really close friends in my life are the ones that have seen me at my worst and my best, have been there for the big moments in my life and accepted me for who I am.

So growing up, I believed in Hollywood movies that portrayed forming at young ages and continuing into their adult lives, until they are sitting on the porch in their old days, remembering good times. I truly wanted to have such a bond with someone.

Screw dreaming up the perfect wedding, I wanted a lifelong sister.

I only really started focusing on this idea in my second last year of primary school. I was determined to make sure I secured that lifelong friendship.

I was friends with Chantelle back then. It really was the perfect sisterhood. We had so much fun together. Back then, her parents stayed on a farm which I loved visiting. We would spend our time inventing games, having picnics in the fields and, of course, discussing boys. Some of my favorite memories were going to visit her aunt’s farm during school holidays, singing Stacie Oricco songs and skinny dipping in the river. We were such good friends. I remember her bursting into one of my classes to drag me off to have a “best friend’s photo” taken on Photo Day.
I guess once we moved to different high schools, we lost contact with each other and that was it, the end of an era. We managed to find each other on social media a few years ago, but we grew up to be different people.

Ana from Philippians. Another primary school friend I could never forget.
When Ana started attending primary school, she was a shy and quiet girl, and could hardly speak English. We became friends. Turned out she loved reading as much as I did and we spend most of our lunch breaks in the school library, reading and sorting through books. This didn’t make us very popular with the other kids but it never bothered us.
Sadly, we also lost contact when we went to different high schools.

Ana is on the right.

So come high school years and enter Lauren into the picture. Man, we were amazing friends! We created so many memories. I attended my first concert with her (GO METALLICA!!). We attended high school parties and got busted for one of them because I wasn’t allowed to go, and I told my mom we were at the movies. I remember our theme song was “Do Somethin'” by Britney Spears. Besides all this, this chick caught quite a few of my tears because I couldn’t grasp the fact that the guy I liked was an absolute player.
Around 2005/2006, we lost contact after she moved to England and I was only able to see her again this year when she came back to South Africa for a visit. We still keep in touch through Social Media.

I think my most significant lost friendship would have to be with Bianca. Till today, I believe the end was partially my fault, and partially hers. We met when I moved to a new high school, but only officially became friends in our last year. I still don’t actually understand how we managed to become friends; we were complete opposites!  She was the shy and quiet one – I was the loud and outspoken one! I guess I irritated her enough to eventually just accept that I was there to stay (wink wink).
We shared everything with each other – it was a friendship that was never to never see the end. I also dated three of her cousins at some stage, and ended marrying on of them – she was never happy with the dating part though.

Somewhere along the way with me dating Byren (my hubby), we started drifting apart. I was only able to see Byren on the weekends as we stayed a distance away from each other. All my time during the week was devoted to her.It just wasn’t enough, which was ironic because I was never difficult when she was dating someone and I hardly got to see her.
Maybe we just started drifting apart; each having different goals in our lives.

35872_141785845833741_5046661_nI cannot say that I don’t miss our friendship, I think back to it quite often.
We have completely stopped keeping in touch a few years ago. I can’t help but wonder where our friendship would have been today had it been stronger.

Post Conclusion

4 thoughts on “The Missing Friendships

  1. Isn’t it so sad how life happens? I too had many friends which I was certain would be my life long partners in crime and although we exchange a pleasantry here or there on social media, I don’t actually know any of them at all anymore.

    1. Very true. Some of them turned out to be completely different people to who I had gotten to know when we were kids. But no one is really the same person that they were when they were kids so it’s understandable..

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