blog series

Insight from Moms |Therese Potgieter Van Rooyen


Name: Therese Potgieter Van RooyenTRP
Age: 31
Child Age: 14 and 2-year- old

1. Are you staying at home because of someone else’s pressure?

No

2. What was something about being a stay at home mom that surprised you?

How underappreciated one can feel.

3. What is the hardest part?

Hearing other Moms say how relaxing it will be to stay at home, even if they have no idea what it takes to be a stay at home mom or getting the expression that you are either too lazy to work or live a cozy lifestyle.

4. What is your favourite part?

Not missing out on seeing my 2-year- old child achieve milestones like I did with my 14-year- old.

5. What is the biggest thing you’ve learned about yourself?

Realizing that I should not pressure myself and have an anxiety attack if I cannot do something at that exact moment.

6. Do you ever regret this decision? {Please explain your answer.}

Only when I try to explain to people what I do all day long and they don’t believe me, or say I can do it in an hour or 2. I explain to them my priority during the day are my children and housekeeping, and in the evening when everyone is asleep I focus on doing work for my clients as a freelance designer.

7. Do you feel satisfied with this decision in general?

Yes, even if I am not working full time I am still bringing in a salary and I am able to look after my 2-year- old.

8. How has your relationship with your partner changed, if at all, from this arrangement?

I am not as stressed and depressed as I was when I worked for a company, by being at home made our marriage a more loving and caring relationship.

9. Do you sometimes feel resentment towards your working partner?

Yes, when he is able to go shower and get dressed without someone hanging on to him.

10. Do you have an equal say in financial decisions?
Yes

11. Do you take care of all the household commitments or are they shared with your partner?
Weekdays it is my responsibility, and over weekends my husband will assist.

12. Do you think that only moms should be stay at home parents?
No, there are woman who are amazing business woman who are made for the corporate world, and men who are better suited to be a stay at home parent.

13. What are your views on men that demand their partners to stay at home?
I see an unhealthy relationship. Neither a man nor a woman should ever demand something from their partner that makes the partner unhappy or uncomfortable.

14. What advice can you give other moms considering staying at home?
You and your partner should be on the same page about the decision, and speak about it once a month to make sure both are still happy with the decision. If it is possible, try and do what you did in the corporate world as a part time job/freelance job or look for something that can bring in some money. We live in a very materialistic world where money rules and it can make you feel “useless” when you do not bring in a salary every month.

I am a 31 year old married mother of a 14 year old boy and a 2 year old girl.
I was a teenage mom, I fell pregnant at 16 (Grade 11), continued with my school year and gave birth 2 weeks after my last Grade 11 exam. I then completed my Matric the next year and went om to study at TUT. I obtained my National Diploma in Interior Design in 2005. I have worked for four different companies from 2007 to 2013. I am currently a SAHM and Freelance Designer.
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