blog series

Insight from Moms | Lorna Malan


Name: Lorna MalanMom New 20160607_164021
Age: 25
Child Age: Jayden- 8 & Willow -3

1. Are you staying at home because of someone else’s pressure? 

I wouldn’t necessarily say that i am being pressured but with the cost of living and schooling, we can not actually afford it. Ultimately i have never been able to earn enough to make it viable to work.

2. What was something about being a stay at home mom that surprised you?

I think two things that surprised me most were (1) being constantly criticized and (2) how it really is tiring. I dont even remember being this tired when i did work.

3. What is the hardest part?

The hardest part for me is the lack of adult company and being sort of stuck in the same routine. I often feel i have cabin fever, it gets extremely monotonous.

4. What is your favourite part? 

My favorite part is being able to be the one to see all my children’s “first’s” to spend all my time with them and not having to worry about them being in another person’s care.

5. What is the biggest thing you’ve learned about yourself?

The biggest thing I’ve learnt is probably that being a stay at home mom has made me extra paranoid and always on my tip toes therefore I’ve unfortunately not always let my children ” be children” so to say. I have also learnt that my instinct is stronger than anyone else’s opinion.

6. Do you ever regret this decision? {Please explain your answer.}

As stated in my previous answer, being a stay at home mom has made me super paranoid so yes i do regret it . I feel as though my children have missed and still miss out on s lit of human interaction and so have i.

7. Do you feel satisfied with this decision in general?

No i am not entirely satisfied but i find myself in a comfort zone. My eldest is in grade 2 but my youngest is still with me at home and i am now considering putting her in school and going back to work but i still have a lot of mixed emotions.

8. How has your relationship with your partner changed, if at all, from this arrangement?

Since i met my husband it has sort of been this way with the exception of me working here and there for short periods so i cant say anything is drastically different but never having proper alone time did push us apart.

9. Do you sometimes feel resentment towards your working partner? 

Yes i do. I would like to feel independent and be able to say ” I worked for this!”

10. Do you have an equal say in financial decisions?

Yes i do.

11. Do you take care of all the household commitments or are they shared with your partner?

Household chores are shares which i am grateful for though i still feel as though if it weren’t for me, not much would get done.

12. Do you think that only moms should be stay at home parents?

I am not against stay at home dad’s- everyone to their own. I do however feel that a man’s natural instinct is to provide and by working they are a lot more satisfied.

13. What are your views on men that demand their partners to stay at home?

I do not agree with it whatsoever and feel that it will ultimately cause more bad than good. Every person whether male or female should have freedom of choice. A woman confined by demand causes damage that is not always easily repaired. We too have pride.

14. What advice can you give other moms considering staying at home?

Think carefully about your decision and do not let anything or anyone influence what you ultimately decide. Ask as many questions as you like..until you feel completely satisfied. Remember that as much as your children are your world- in order for them to be happy, they need a happy mom. The first 5 years of a child’s life are the most vital and they are like sponges..one’s that need to soak up constant positive energy. You will get tired, you will feel like giving up..staying at home doesn’t mean sitting around. Even working mom’s get tired and feel like giving up- it goes without saying. Ultimately listen to your gut – you are their Moma and working or not they will love you for the rest of their lives. 🙂

I am a stay at home mom to two little stars. I am an avid reader and write novels, short stories and poems. I am in love with literature and music as well as instruments.
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