blog series · SAHM vs SAHD

Insight from Moms | Stacey Jefferys


Name: Stacey JefferysFB_IMG_1469560380137
Age: 30
Child Age: 1,5 years old

1. Are you staying at home because of someone else’s pressure?

Yes and no. I went back to work after 4 months at home and then we moved which made the travel quite excessive. My husband said that I should not work as it was pointless when you looked at the travel expense versus my income, especially with us having only one vehicle. He decided that I should become a stay at home mom but I was more than happy to do so as I really wanted to be home with my baby.

2. What was something about being a stay at home mom that surprised you?

How lonely it was. Being with your baby is amazing but with my husband working and friends at work as well as no means to get around, I was always trapped in my own home. It was very frustrating at times. Still is.

3. What is the hardest part?

For me it’s not being financially independent. I hate asking for things and that’s what I have to do now. At times it is like it is his money and I shouldn’t want to spend it on something other than household items.

4. What is your favourite part?

My very favourite part is those small moments that a lot of people miss with their kids. My son and I will be laughing at the stupidest thing and it always amazes me that I will always be here for this. I get to experience the big things like his first steps as well as the smalls things like him playing with a snail in the garden and finding it hilarious.

5. What is the biggest thing you’ve learned about yourself?

That I am not as strong as I thought I was. It is a lot of work mentally and everyone needs helps. Also that I am not as fit as 1 year old. Lol. Man they have energy.

6. Do you ever regret this decision? {Please explain your answer.}

Never. I sometimes want a bit of time to myself but when I do, I just want to be home with my baby. I always thought I would hate being a stay at home mom, that I always needed to be busy working, but I am always busy. I am always working. Now it is just with a small human sized tornado whose joy and wonder give me so much more.

7. Do you feel satisfied with this decision in general?

I do! I am so glad that I am able to do this. Its is a decision that I will always be happy we made.

8. How has your relationship with your partner changed, if at all, from this arrangement?

As a whole we have gone from strength to strength but there have been moments where we just don’t understand where the other is coming from. Thank god for friends or family that have been there and done that. Lol.

9. Do you sometimes feel resentment towards your working partner?

Yes, sometimes I do. He gets to leave for work and then also goes to gym and only gets home at about 10PM so he doesn’t really deal with our son much. I understand that he works but he still gets to get away from us. Lol. He also doesn’t help much on the teaching side of things. He is the play parent and I am the teacher/disciplinarian.

10. Do you have an equal say in financial decisions?

To an extent. He has final say on everything but I know what we pay for or still owe and so forth. I also give input and do all the grocery budgets and shopping.

11. Do you take care of all the household commitments or are they shared with your partner?

It’s a 70%-30% split. Because he works, I take care of the house but every now and then he helps with chores and cooking. It would help if he didn’t leave his rubbish and clothes all over the house but I really can’t complain too much. Lol.

12. Do you think that only moms should be stay at home parents?

No, not at all. Men are perfectly able to do it themselves and really should so they can experience every moment with their kids that stay at home moms do. My husband often says we should swop positions. I bring in the dough and he becomes a stay at home daddy.

13. What are your views on men that demand their partners to stay at home?

I find that highly obnoxious and pigheaded. No person has any right to demand anything. It should be a decision that is discussed and agreed upon by both parties.

14. What advice can you give other moms considering staying at home?

Where to start….ignore the house as much as you can. It’s so much more fun rolling around on the floor with your baby then doing the ironing. They are only little for a small while. Make time for yourself. It is so important! And lastly, make sure you have discussed every aspect with your partner. That goes for how you will teach your child when home to how the two of you will deal with the finances and where you stand with that if you have none coming in as well as expectations of each others duties and responsibilities. Always know where you both stand as it definitely makes everything easier in the long run.

I am a stay at home mom of a 1,5 year old little boy named Odin. Between him, our house and my crazy, amazing hubby, I am always kept busy. When I do find spare time, I love to do crafty things. Whether it be knitting, building herb gardens, sewing new handbags or designing parties for all my friends and their kiddies. I love doing it. I spend far too much of my sleep time on pinterest but add all of it together and I have one happy, chaotic life.
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