Relationships and Marriage

You Sexy Beast, You!


You Sexy Beast, You!

I call on all parents to relate. This is called for if you have a partner to share your adventures with.

Sex. Let’s put it out there. It’s fun, relaxing, fulfilling, & in the end – satisfying.

Who remembers their sex life before having kids?

Describe it to me in one word:

  1. Fun
  2. Energetic
  3. Spontaneous?

Now, after having kids, describe it to me again:

  1. Planned
  2. Quick
  3. Rare?

Some of you will even pose the question, “What’s sex & can you buy it?” Well, yes, but not in the way I meant it!

Let’s face the fact; sex changes. You change towards it. Your lifestyles changes, not to accommodate but to adjust to having more responsibilities & worries, & sex gets left behind on a shelf in a dusty cupboard. Of, course, not always for the best, but not the worst either.

What are some of the highlighted moments in your sex life (after kids)?

  1. Could it be the little make-out session you’re having, intense; followed by a blood curling scream of a baby from the room next door.
  2. What about the moment where all the clothes are off & the heat is rising when…you hear “Mama” repeated over & over from next door. Then there’s you grabbing the nearest piece of clothing you can find, flinging it around yourself to look somewhat decent & clumsily running into your kids room. Then frantically searching inside the cot for the pacifier to hand it to your baby. Once the kiddie is calm, & asleep again, you awkwardly proceed to go back to the bedroom, desperately trying to think of something to say to break the ice & all that flashes through your mind is “So, let’s sleep then?”
  3. Maybe it’s the time when you’re so tired, you literally have no energy to even undress properly for the occasion? Or even sleep-work through the session. Yes, it’s very much possible.
  4. Or when your excuses don’t include headaches anymore, but chores?

Who has heard of this thing called ‘spontaneous sex’ before? Is it something you eat, wash, buy? Come on, when you have kids, spontaneous sex takes a vacation – gone for a long long time. Planned sex, like a mother-in-law, moves into your house, & invades your relationship.

awkward

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Planned sex isn’t always bad, I guess. Except that it lacks surprises & some spontaneous ‘je ne sais quoi’,

To me, planned sex is like a corporate meeting – you set up a time & date, arriving rigid & properly informed. In the end, one is happy with the deal, while the other wished they received more perks & then you part ways to attend to different agenda’s. Sounds very structured & predictable. Unfortunately, this becomes part of our routines & takes over our performance! It’s not very relaxed & sometimes can be awkward.

Then when spontaneous sex happens, you probably feel like a miracle just occurred. The sex was carefree, smooth & somewhat more intense. That’s because you don’t expect everything as much as when it’s planned. When it’s planned, you already know what’s going to happen.

The most important part of married life, having kids & having a good ‘planned’ sex life? A sense of humour & a sense of humour during sex is a winner. So develop a smile, break out a joke & mess around.

Why? Because serious sex is just fucking creepy!!

spontanious

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8 thoughts on “You Sexy Beast, You!

  1. Hahaha! Oh, you are frightening me about having children! Luckily that’s a ways down the road… But I’m thinking… a lock on the door and bedrooms on the opposite side of the house 😉

    1. Hahahaha…. It’s not that bad… You just need to learn on some patience & learn how to do things in private & quiet… & do it less than before hehehe 😉

      But you know, if it wasn’t possible, people wouldn’t have more than one kid 😉

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