parenting

Young Moms have Balls


Yep. That’s exactly what I said. You read that right.11233560_642923082507925_565421010171261446_n

In our time, the definition of “young mom” has changed. Sure, a good few years ago, it was a strange thing for a woman not to be married by the age of 15 and sporting a family soon after. That was the norm for everyone.

Today, the age of girls getting pregnant is around 12 years old, if not younger. With abortions flying left and right, there’s no order of taking responsibilities for your actions.  There are now rights given to such young girls to terminate unwanted pregnancies. What 12 year old in this world can make such serious decisions?

Besides this point, believe it or not I was criticized for falling pregnant young, and I was already 21. Yep, some of my friends who are older than me {no kids, no partners in their lives} judged me for getting pregnant at a young age. There were rumors going behind my back about me being a failure because I was a child myself. You know, “How can a child raise a child?”

Sure, at 20/21, I had a lose head on my neck. I was a party animal, a daydreamer and a wild spirit. You want to know a secret? I’m still that person. I’ve just learned to tone it down. The party animal has gone to sleep. The wild spirit helps with energy bursts. The daydreamer is still open full time,

When I found out I was pregnant, I had a complete mind change. I realized very quickly that my life was going to change and that I needed to live up to the expectations of looking after a child. As well I was judged because I wasn’t married and I had a baby on the way. My response to everyone at that stage was, “Just because I’m not married, it doesn’t mean that the baby wasn’t conceived in love.” I remember the funny looks we received in church {when we used to go} when people asked to hear our story. I eventually stopped caring about telling alias stories so I could stop being judged. I eventually stopped caring what people thought as well. I was in a stable relationship. I was getting married soon enough and other opinions wouldn’t change anything. But of course, high standards were set by those that did it the “right way”.

At the end of the day, being a young mom didn’t mean that I wouldn’t be as good a mom as someone much older than me. Something that people don’t realize is that becoming a mom at an older age doesn’t somehow miraculously give you all the knowledge of being a parent and knowing all there is about parenting. No, whether you’re 21 or 30 or 37, if you’re a first time mom, you’re just as clueless at that age as the mom younger than you.
No matter what age you are, you start from the bottom with everyone else.

So yes, I had the balls to become a young mom. I had the balls to stand up against what people said to me and what they said behind my back. I had the balls to prove to myself that I was a good mom.

I had the balls to prove to others indirectly that yes, I could be more than they expected me to. I was more than what was expected.

 

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9 thoughts on “Young Moms have Balls

  1. I love this!! As a young mom myself (I had Mikayla just before my 22nd birthday) I can relate on sooo many levels ♥
    Well done on being a great mommy, and well done on a wonderful blog! Your writing is inspiring.

  2. I’m what society considers an “old” mom, I had my first child at 37 and the second at 41 and while I haven’t experienced your POV, I can say this, society is full of judgments and I don’t think any of us are excluded from the judgments either. I’ve been judged because I’m an older Mom, even though it was not by choice, I’ve been told I’m selfish for wanting and having a second child in my 40’s, often (and no offense) by young(er) Mom’s. The thing is, I think being a mom takes balls period. Regardless of our ages or our journey’s to get there. Scrap that, I’d go so far as to say that being a woman in our misogynistic society takes balls because we are judged for everything. Pretty much damned if we do and damned if we don’t.

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