Random Thoughts

Blog Series: SAHM vs SAHD – Lauren

Name: Lauren
Age: 24
Child’s Age: 1.5DSC_0611

  1. Are you staying at home because of someone else’s pressure? No, when we moved to a new city my employer gave me the opportunity to continue working from home so I had a job.
  2. What was something about being a stay at home mom that surprised you? How even though I had more time in my day because I did not commute to work, I still never have enough time in my day.
  3. What is the hardest part? It sometimes gets lonely not having work colleagues or people your age to talk to.
  4. What is your favourite part? Being there for all the big moments, you miss almost nothing.
  5. What is the biggest thing you’ve learned about yourself? I am surprisingly playful, I can spend my time doing a whole lot of silly nothing.
  6. Do you ever regret this decision? {Please explain your answer.} No, we moved cities because where we were living our childcare bill cost more than a month’s salary (around £1200) and we were running into financial trouble. Moving away from London and working from home brought our costs down and gives us a better quality of life.
  7. Do you feel satisfied with this decision in general? Yes.
  8. How has your relationship with your partner changed, if at all, from this arrangement? Taking care of a baby doesn’t come as naturally to men (in my opinion) and I see how Chris has struggled some days. I think they become much more stubborn with everything else in your relationship because they feel they have less control of themselves when caring for children. He spends more time caring for the house as well, so it becomes more stressful when he has less independence and when he has free time, it’s normally filled with plans that don’t include me. Which I understand, but it becomes harder to make couple time.
  1. Do you sometimes feel resentment towards your working partner? I don’t think resentment, but I envy how much time they get to spend together. There is also nowhere to vent our stress outside from home, so things can build up sometimes.
  2. Do you have an equal say in financial decisions? Yes, it’s our money. We may sometimes disagree on some of the smaller things, but we have full access to each other’s accounts and we normally share the same priorities.
  3. Do you take care of all the household commitments or are they shared with your partner? I would like to say shared, but that would be untrue, I do maybe 25% of the household cleaning during the week. Every two weeks I normally do a huge clean top-to-bottom, but day-to-day it will normally be Chris.
  4. Do you think that only moms should be stay at home parents? No, I think you do the best with whatever your circumstances allow. It may not be as natural to dads, but they can still be great stay-at-home parents.
  5. What are your views on men that demand their partners to stay at home? Unacceptable, you make the best decision for everyone’s happiness – and with a few sacrifices all round this is possible as long as it is not financially detrimental.
  6. What advice can you give other moms considering staying at home? Be prepared, make sure to find local mothers and make an effort to go out and do things with your child. It is incredibly stressful and you do not want to end up feeling isolated so use the support you have available to you.

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