Gremlin is just over a week old and already someone asked me if I want another baby…
“My goodness, just because I have a fresh scar, doesn’t mean I want it reopened again.”
When I heard the question leave her mouth, I laughed nervously. Then I tried to come up with an escape plan to avoid this conversation altogether. I don’t want to think of having more kids.
I have my two kids, just like I said I wanted and I’m done. This factory has just hit bankruptcy and has shut down.
It’s easy to say a woman forgets the pain after labour and that sooner or later, she wants another kid because she can’t remember the pain she went through. Yes, my pain might be going away slowly, fading into my memory. BUT I remember it very well. I remember the moment I had to get up for the first time after the Cesarean. I remember how I nearly passed out in the bathroom because the nurse left me alone and my legs couldn’t support me properly. I remember crying the second night from burning pain from my wound to find out that one of the nurses had put the belly binder on incorrectly and it had been pressing into my wound all day long, causing it to swell even more. I remember the first steps I took to walk up my stairs at home, the pain rushing through my stomach and into my thighs. I remember the pain I felt from the wound every time I tried to get in and out of bed. The pain I felt kneeling down to pick something up I had dropped.
These memories might be fresh because they happened recently, but I will definitely not forget how I felt. To all those moms that said giving birth by Cesarean doesn’t really make you a mom because you didn’t do it naturally…
I tell you that you’re all full of shit.
If you haven’t had a Cesarean, you won’t understand the pain you go through afterwards. That pain is a birth. Hear me now. That pain makes you cry big tears. You can’t even do the most basic things without wanting to just sit still and not move anywhere from that position.
I’ve had both now, vaginal and Cesarean birth, and I can tell you that neither is fun. Neither is pain-free and both have pain during recovery. After a Cesarean, everything takes a little longer. Which makes sense – I mean, it’s major abdominal surgery!
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t cry wolf for every little bit of pain I feel in my life, but this… This is a bitch on its own..