Random Thoughts

VJ Delivery vs. C-Section Delivery

hqdefault“Save the beaver, have a (sic) Caesar” is one of those inflammatory slogans tossed around about childbirth, along with ‘You’re not a real mother unless you’ve had natural birth’.  ~ From Parents24.co.za

Have you heard this saying before? Well, I haven’t and I have a child already. I think I need to spend more time on the Internet and read more articles.

My experience with childbirth the first time was traumatic.

I won’t lie. It wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t pleasant. It wasn’t a fairytale that was written in the stars. Having nearly lost Monster if the process had taken any longer, our stress levels were through the roof. 12 hours of constant worry, I thought I’d pass on another take on labour.

Here’s the thing, just because my vaginal birth {let’s call an apple an apple here} was traumatic and a little horrifying, it’s not the same for everyone. There are loads of ladies out there who had amazing worry-free experiences. In my case, there were a few complications and it had been too late to do an emergency Cesarean.

This time around, because of all the complications, my Doctor suggested a Cesarean to be on the safe side. I could do another vaginal delivery but that’s only if Gremlin doesn’t weigh too much. Monster was a mere 2.88kg and we had too much trouble. So if Gremlin weighs less than that, then yes, we could do a vaginal delivery but how baby grows is up to him and can’t be predicted.

Now back to the quote above. A lot of women have a fear of having a vaginal delivery because they worry about the remaining damage below. It’s a little worrying yes, since it’s your body and with all the changes it has gone through you wish there’s something that could be saved. I honestly only thought about it a few days after the delivery. That’s when it hit me and I sat crying in the bath because I was worried about the damage and how Byren wouldn’t look at me the same again. I think a lot of women forget that your VJ stretches during intercourse so you don’t get hurt so naturally after birth, that’s exactly what happens. As it stretched, so it will ‘snap’ back to its old size. Women worry so much about the size down there, they don’t stop to think about vaginismus. Ever heard of this term? No? Here’s a brief explanation “…result of an involuntary vaginal muscle spasm, which makes any kind of vaginal penetration—including sexual intercourse—painful or impossible.”. I’ve attached the link if you need to read more on the condition.

So there are women out there who complain about the tightness of their VJ’s because they can’t participate in normal activities, even going for gynie check-ups is painful.

Now the stigma of “If you don’t do a vaginal delivery, you’re not really a mother.” That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. There are women out there that judge other women who haven’t had a vaginal delivery. It’s completely unnecessary and retarded {excuse my language}. There are women that cannot have vaginal deliveries due to complications and safety hazards. That doesn’t make you less of a women and definitely doesn’t mean you’re not a mother. Women who haven’t had a Cesarean don’t understand the stress that goes into the process. They see it as an easy way out, a quick fix away from nature. It’s not.

I’m terrified of the procedure. More terrified than I was with the vaginal delivery. It feels like I’m going in for an operation, which it is sort of. There are still things that can go wrong, even though some say it’s the quicker and easier option. If I could, I would do a vaginal delivery again but I can’t. I don’t want to endanger Gremlin’s life, as well as my own {there was a stage during Monster’s birth where the Doctor told Byren it might turn into a choosing who lives situation}.

What happened to the part where we as women stand in support of each other? Why are we bringing each other down instead of showing our support for each other’s choices? Who says that having a vaginal delivery is the right type of delivery? Who says that having a Cesarean is the right way? Surely it’s everyone’s personal choice and someone else’s choice has no effect on another’s life.

We should stand together. There are enough other forces in this world that divide people. This shouldn’t be one of them.

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