Random Thoughts

Fairytales & Farts {Part One}

I have some spare time during the day where I work. So I have decided to catch up on my reading.

Now first, let me go back a few years ago to when I was 13. My prime of reading. Yes, I was a bit of a nerd back then. Well, I still am one in many ways & I don’t see anything bad in it or in fitting in society. Apart from being a shy child, {yes, I use to be shy & quiet person}, I didn’t have a lot of friends & my parents didn’t allow me to go out. So amongst my friends, I was the outcast, the bore, the loser.

So to keep myself busy {& escape my reality}, I buried myself in books. My all time favorite books back then were R.L. Stine’s Fear Street & Goosebumps. Remember those? My imagination soared!!
My mom didn’t really care about what I was reading, she want around that much. My dad forced me to read Russian literature to improve my language skills. The language in those books was very high & my dad never explained meanings or helped me understand the books. Till this day, I cannot read Russian books, my dad kind of killed that ambition for me. Funny enough, there is nothing wrong my language or my understanding of the language.


At about 15 years old, I started reading romance. Specifically Mills & Boon. If you have ever read one of those books, you’ll know that the story lines are all the same.
Here are the basics:
– Woman is usually struggling with trust issues thanks to some asshole from her past.
– Woman meets a Ladies Man who tries to seduce her but starts questioning his own identity in women.
– Woman keeps telling herself that she can’t trust the Man although feels like jumping his bones every time she sees him {& even thinks of him}.
– Woman & Man have some sort of fallout. All the same, the Ladies Man is now turning into a Wedding Man & feels like he is ready to settle down because she is the ‘one’.
– Woman & now Wedding Man see each other again where he TALKS about his feelings & insecurities. Thus confessing his love & changed perception on life.
– They then have this amazing sex session full of butterflies & bubbles {YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN}.
The Woman seems to orgasm from everything the Wedding Man does to her while the Man almost prematurely ejaculates from the beginning to the end from pleasure.
{In each book} the pair always have a synchronised climax which leaves them with the realisation that they belong together. Forever & ever & ever….
– At the end of the books, the readers are left with the belief that the couples were married & lived happily ever after in love & have amazing frack sessions when climaxes are shared, every time.

For the matter of this discussion, we can exclude 50 Shades of Grey as it doesn’t focus on romance as such. Also it has been classified as a soft PORN book.


Ever heard the saying “Romance books are to women as Porn is to men”?
Well, some men {majority really} agree with that. But not women so much. Here’s a question: how many men have actually read a romance novel? Straight men. You know, to understand what they really on about. If you have, you’ll understand how romanticised everything has been. Why? To satisfy a woman’s imagination. We all know that a woman’s biggest sex tool is her brain. A.k.a. The Imagination.
For a man it’s all visual. That’s why porn works so well. It’s all about seeing, not thinking.

In Part Two, I’ll discuss why I think romance novels are bullshit & how they are exactly the same as porn for the opposote sex. For the time I have a question for my readers.


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