Random Thoughts

You’re Not the Only Mother…

I hate mothers day

This was my second mother’s day since Monster’s birth.

Last year as well as this year, I didn’t receive any chocolates, flowers or even a card. I got to spend time with my family both times.

I guess it bothers me a bit that all I received from Byren this year was a “Happy Mother’s Day” & a hug. Monster, on the other hand, showered me with hugs & kisses from the minute he was awake until he went to bed that night. As if he knew it was a special day for me. I think Byren could’ve put a little more effort, if not in the first year but the second??

It would’ve been nice to receive a bit more appreciation of some sort. Last year, we were planning to go to Hartebeespoort Dam. But before we could go, Byren told me I had to do the dishes first. Yes, me because Byren hates doing dishes. You’d think I could be excused from chores for one day in the year? Nope, that’s asking for too much.  By the time I was done with all the cleaning, it was too late to go to the Dam because it’s a far way to drive. We ended up staying at home.

This year, I woke up & made us pancakes for brunch. I took a two-hour nap {I went out with a friend the previous night so I was a little tired} while Monster took his nap. Jumping back to Saturday night {as Mother’s Day was on Sunday}, Byren & a friend of ours, Tjaart stayed at home to babysit Monster. Byren made them dinner & no cleanup was done afterwards. So the next morning, when I wanted to start on the pancakes, Byren told me to not worry about the dishes as he would take care of them. I thought – fantastic, I would actually be able to relax a little on ‘my’ day. High hopes, deep fall.

By four in the afternoon, the dishes were still not done & since Byren had said nothing about dinner, I assumed that would be my responsibility.

By the time Byren awoke from his nap, I was already busy with dinner & washing dishes. My domestic worker was coming in the next day but I couldn’t cook with all the dirty dishes lying around. He said nothing about dinner; nothing about the dishes. I actually made a joke & said that I had at least expected him to take care of dinner. All he said was that when he saw me cooking, he offered to take over for me. I don’t recall this conversation & I remember things very well.

I think the only movement or gesture that kept me from bursting into tears were Monster’s spontaneous hugs from time to time. It’s as if he understood that I was feeling down.

On Friday, Ellene {Byren’s sister} messaged all the siblings about hosting a surprise braai for their mother. When I say siblings, I say Byren’s brother & sisters. I understand completely about all the siblings spending the day with their MOTHER on MOTHER’s DAY. As far as I can remember, I’m a MOTHER as well. Wasn’t it considered that maybe I also want to celebrate the day without any other MOTHER’S around? Or does consideration for me just not happen? You can tell me I’m overreacting but I’m not asking for a lot here. Byren let her know that we already had plans. We didn’t really have any except to stay at home. But I still wanted the day to be about me, which didn’t end up being like that anyway.

The nicest part of the day was all the attention that Monster gave me. Later on, I put on some candles, make myself a bubble bath & just lay wondering if next year would be better. I even thought of making myself a card, or buying some flowers or chocolates for myself. Just to feel special on some level. But that would be considered vain, right?

During the day, I sent both my mother & mother in law a ‘Happy Mother’s Day’ message. My mother said nothing back to me, just a photo of her drinking a milkshake on her day out. My mother in law just thanked me. None congratulated me. I’m a mother as well, right?

Don’t I get even the smallest recognition for the proudest title I’ll ever have?


3 thoughts on “You’re Not the Only Mother…

  1. I’m so sorry sweety. You should have gotten some appreciation for all that you do. A card from Chase ( either handmade or bought from the store ) would have been at least something.

  2. I’m sorry about your less-than-happy Mother’s day, as well! You definitely deserve to be pampered and have a special day on Mother’s day. Maybe you should try to make it more clear to your husband about the way you’re feeling. I feel like he should have done something nice for you that day without you having to mention it, but since it’s happened 2 years in a row, maybe you should explain that you’d like some special treatment on Mother’s Day. That’s not asking too much at all!

    I hope next year is better for you 🙂


Share Your Thoughts:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.