Random Thoughts

Kids as Excuses

I’m going to go on a little rant here over something that I heard someone say:

Why do people use the excuse of having kids for not fulfilling their dreams?

If it’s such a problem, why did you have kids in the first place? If you wanted to reach your dreams & a kid would have put it all on hold (or at end), why did you have one, or two, or three? By accident?

“You do know there are methods of protection to stop reproduction until you are ready?” #JustSaying

I was 21 years old when I fell pregnant & later on while Monster was born. I don’t regret it. I love the fact that I had my son at a younger age. I have more energy for all the running around, I’ll live longer to see him grow older & I’ll be able to spend more time with grandchildren one day. I see it as a blessing, a miracle – a memory & a moment that some will never experience.

Yes, when I got pregnant, my highest education level stood on completing high school. I was working at a low wage paying company & I had big dreams that I wanted to achieve one day.

Wham. I find out I’m expecting. Did my world crash for a while? Yes. Did I think my life was over? Yes.

Almost two years later, my world is still spinning; out of control at times but I’m managing. The out of control spinning isn’t always bad. It’s the excitement of being a parent. It’s the moment when your child looks at you; smiles at you, laughs. When they babble at you & you listen, knowing you might not understand what they are saying but they are sharing something interesting from their day. It’s the warm feeling in your heart when you hug them & they hug you back, the times when you kiss them on their chubby cheeks at bedtime & they smile at you in return. It’s that excitement you see in them when they haven’t seen you all day, the way their face lights up & they stand on one spot, wiggling their tiny bodies from over-excitement.

How can one blame someone who has unconditional love for you, for your lack of ambition to carry on with life outside of parenting? A child has unconditional love for you. It’s true. The first emotion they learn to understand is love. The first feeling is love. Towards you. How? Because that’s what you give them from the minute they are formed in your womb (mom’s) & the first time you hold them in your arms (dad’s).

How does having a kid kill your dreams? You have less time for tasks in your life. Work is tiring. Cleaning, chores. It’s all a mixture of stress, & then you have a kid at home expecting you to show them attention. It gets too much, unbearable even. Well, I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but that’s life. We all go through it; young or old. No matter what your age is, eventually you will go through the same experience.

I only started my tertiary education this year, six years after high school. I’m fitting it in to my schedule. Between work, parenting & house work. I’m still alive, still living. Why do I need a child as an excuse for not being able to achieve something in my life?

Blaming a child (that you technically made) for you not reaching your dreams is pathetic. Little do you know that people who have kids still have the ambition to grow, live their dreams & live a fulfilled life. How? They switch their attention from fulfilling their dreams for themselves to for their kids.

Work for your dreams to give your child(ren) a better life. Be ambitious for your kid(s).


4 thoughts on “Kids as Excuses

  1. Amen! I always wanted to be a nurse and was 2yrs into college when my dad died and I needed a break. Fast forward 8yrs and I was married with two kids and a husband about to go to war. I could have wallowed in self pity. Instead, I changed my dreams to wanting to be a business owner. Last year I got my degree and I am practicing my skills. My dream is still a long way from happening, right now I want my three littles to know what not giving up is like, how to give back to the community, and most if all, how to love!

    1. There are no excuses. I learned that in two years. I know both sides of the people who gave up & who pushed through. I mean, if we give up, what are we teaching our children? What examples are we setting for them?

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