Health and Beauty · Relationships and Marriage

Lady Un-Love


- See me there? I'm with the red embarrassed face...
– See me there? I’m with the red embarrassed face…

Ladies with babies – I need your advice.

How do I put this out there…? I think I might be experiencing a low sex drive, also known as hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD). I thought that since I’m still quite young, 23, it might not be possible.

Apparently it’s very much possible as the statistic below shows.

(Quoted) ”A recent study showed that nearly one-third of women aged 18 to 59 suffer from a lost interest in sex, and it’s not all in their heads.”

Common causes for a loss of sexual desire and drive in women include:

Interpersonal relationship issues. Partner performance problems, lack of emotional satisfaction with the relationship, the birth of a child, and becoming a caregiver for a loved one can decrease sexual desire.

Comments: There are no partner performance problems. The emotional satisfaction can be the cause as we aren’t really quite there on the emotional level. Well, of course I have a baby now so I’m constantly tired & sex sounds like extra work.

Sociocultural influences. Job stress, peer pressure, and media images of sexuality can negatively influence sexual desire

Comments: There isn’t always job stress but at month end I’m completely consumed by stress from work.

Low testosterone. Testosterone affects sexual drive in both men and women. Testosterone levels peak in women’s mid-20s and then steadily decline until menopause, when they drop dramatically.

Comments: Well, this is obviously not one of the reasons.

Medical problems: Mental illnesses such as depression, or medical conditions, such as endometriosis, fibroids, and thyroid disorders, impact a woman’s sexual drive both mentally and physically.

Comments: Suffer from non e of the above.

Medications: Certain antidepressants (including the new generation of SSRIs), blood pressure lowering drugs, and oral contraceptives can lower sexual drive in many ways, such as decreasing available testosterone levels or affecting blood flow.

Comments: Suffer from none of the above.

Age. Blood levels of androgens fall continuously in women as they age.

Comments: Age cannot be the issue here.

So I don’t know. Maybe it’s just a phase that I’m going through. But this phase has been holding onto me for almost two months now. It feels permanent.

On WebMD, I found this article: Why Women Lose Interest in Sex.

It states that a solution can be found through therapy & taking testosterone pills. I don’t think that that’s my case. I don’t think it’s a problem in my actual body. I think it’s part my body & part my mind.

Let me explain: When I’m coming off work, after a long day at the office, I’m paste. Then I need to feed Monster, bath him, and get him into bed. From there I need to cook, then clean up after dinner. Followed by preparing Monster’s bag for the next day, clearing the floor of all the toys & by 10PM, I’m done for the day. I don’t have energy to read a book or watch a movie, I fall asleep in the next few minutes of just relaxing. So when I hear the word SEX, my mind groans. I don’t have the energy for it. I don’t feel up to it. I even start thinking of excuses in my mind to get out of the situation.

It sounds bad, the excuses part, but when I give a simple ‘no’, there’s a bigger fight than just making up an excuse about it. So eventually, when it does happen; I’m there but I’m not really there. Not that I wish I was somewhere else, I ‘m just not into it – mind & body.

Since having a baby, our sex life has become somewhat… Boring? I don’t know what else to call it. It happens once every 3-4 weeks & I think it only happens because it’s ‘part of the routine’. I know, it sounds HORRIBLE! But that’s the way I feel?  I think that’s maybe one of the other reasons I’ve lost interest, it’s not a constant act anymore. I’ve sort of adapted to the ‘no sex often’ rule so if sex happens or doesn’t, it’s indifferent to me.

I sound like a woman after menopause!

I just don’t know how to handle this…

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3 thoughts on “Lady Un-Love

  1. Mine is in a slump too, but it is usually that way when I breastfeed, which I am. It sucks all the energy out of me, plus two other kids to chase around and school. Then there is the house cleaning and other stuff I tend to during the day. When in bed, I want to pass out.

    1. I don’t know how some people are still able to have a thriving sex life. & hubby doesn’t get it. He doesn’t think that I get tired. Like I’m a super-human & stuff. Sometimes I wish I was, then I’d be able to get more things done.
      I don’t know if it gets better at any point 😦

      1. It does, after all, I ended up with three kids. I think it is more of a hormonal thing right now. A pregnancy right now could dry up my milk supply or I could end up with another miscarriage. Usually when the nursing relationship is over I am good to go.

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