“You’ve been nominated for an award, Annie!”
“YES! An award!! That’s so exciting!”
“You mean people actually like reading about my bitching & moaning?”
The thought has finally sunk in! I have an achievement hovering above my head & here’s my way of jumping high & grabbing it!
I did a little homework over this Liebster Award (if Google & stalking other bloggers count) to understand more, & understand why Mr Beaver decided to nominate me.
For the nominees who don’t know about this Award, here’s a history lesson:
This is a CYBER award. No one is going to deliver a certificate to your door step. (“Yes, I was hoping for one!”). You get a chance to be nominated when one blogger nominates a few other bloggers who must have less than 1000 followers! Easy as that!! So blogging becomes a “family looking out for each other”.
If nominated for an award, you have a choice to either ACCEPT or IGNORE. Quite simple, you can either accept & follow through on 11 simple rules, or ignore & break the chain & the fame.
So here’s my “Thank you” for the nomination! Who else can say their blog got nominated by a (BLOGGING) beaver! That’s an achievement on its own, for the beaver of course! I feel very flattered that my ranting is seen as not shying away from the truth & that it’s suggestively used to teach others. Who says bitching is a bad thing? I can’t say that I’ve ever been nominated for anything, so this is big news for me!
For more news on the Beaver & his open-minded thinking, go directly to his blog; follow, like & share! Oh yes, click HERE!
So I have to answer a few questions that Mr Beaver has set up. Here goes:
1. If Margaret Thatcher were to reanimate as a zombie, how would you kill her (if you’re not a fan) or who would you feed her (if you are a fan)?
Well, considering the fact that I have never bothered to know anything about her, I could really not be…well…bothered. However, for the people that have pissed me off in the last couple of months, I’m pretty sure I could somehow sneak her into their houses & block all the escape routes since I hear she is somewhat of an iron lady…sounds pretty scary to me, especially since she’s British.
2. If you were a genie in a bottle, what would you do to pass the time? (Good luck thinking outside the box on this one. Also, the Liebster committee favors submissions that feature the word ‘claustrophobia’.)
“I’m a genie in a bottle
You gotta rub me the right way”
… I don’t think a verse from Christina Aguilera’s song is fitting to this question. I think I’ll spend most of my time thinking about how the hell I got into the bottle in the first place, putting my size into perspective. How do you fit me in a tiny bottle? Wait, shouldn’t it be a lamp? Lamp…bottle, doesn’t matter…I’d still be thinking about why the rubbing motion doesn’t work from the inside? Like an escape plan for some much needed fresh air? Also, why do I have to grant a stranger three wishes? All they’ll do is interrupt my peace & then I need to give them something in return? How does that work? As for claustrophobia…worsened by it being dark (I assume); how would you feel lying in an awkward position with your toe tickling your nostril for what may possibly be over a thousand years?
3. So apparently mankind is planning a one way trip to Mars sometime in 2027. Would you go, knowing you’d be among the first dozen people to walk on a different planet, but also knowing you’d never be able to come back?
Seems like quite a sacrifice moving to a planet which I, for once, know almost nothing about. You’ll have to adapt to the weather & get use to dirt being everywhere, make new friends & find new recreational activities…like learning to play hop-scotch without gravity. It’s not that I’m lazy; I just don’t like making an effort for… most things. I’m a mom, it’s an effort to get out of bed in the mornings, & you’re asking me to move to another planet? Are we rational humans or not?! Wait, that wasn’t what the question was about…
4. Does Justin Bieber get way more criticism than he deserves?
Look, every girl has to go through puberty. There will be people who will have something to say about the changes in her body. It’s normal. Everyone knows the theory that when 10 year old boys are mean to girls, they actually like them! So me assuming the role of the boy here; technically it’s not criticism, but love in disguise. I just feel jealousy towards her smashing head of hair!
5. What is the one job you think anyone in their life should have had at least once, if only for a day?
There’s a show on Discovery Channel, Dirty Jobs, where people have the most unconventional “making-a-living” standards. One of the episodes showed the host handling people’s crap & disposing of it from the sewer system. When I say crap, I don’t mean broken appliances, old clothes & antique belongings. I mean, peoples bowl movements! Why do I use this example? So that others can think to themselves, “Yeah, I definitely don’t have a shit job compared to them”. The term “knee deep in shit” takes on a whole new meaning!
6. What do you think is a bigger achievement and why: The Hoover Dam or the Panama Canal?
I don’t have the authority to answer this question really, so I will just say yes! The closest I get to see a dam in the city is a puddle of water on the street after some rain. So…yes.
7. If mankind were to go extinct, what animal would you like to become the dominant species?
Sloths! Because A.) They don’t care about what goes on around them, since they move too slowly to notice anything that isn’t in a 50 meter radius & B.) They are beyond smelly creatures so no one will want to eat them because they’ll taste disgusting! & they are also super adorable! Look at this face!! Aawwwww!!
8. What’s the one piece of music that wets your eyes, no matter how often you hear it?
It’s not really so much the piece of music as it is the instrument that makes the music! I’m sure getting hit over the head with a drum kit or a harp can bring a tear to anyone’s eye.
9. What should airlines do to beat long distance boredom?
The game “Spin the Bottle” with strangers, tattoo parlours & all you can eat Sushi bars! Sounds about ideal…
10. Can you look a beaver in the eye and tell him global warming is a myth?
I can’t face a beaver! He might mistake me for his own kind with our matching teeth! So I know for a fact a beaver won’t believe a beaver, however if I was more human looking…
11. Does the word ‘whom’ make the English language better than it would be without it?
Whom? No, no – I think the question you should be asking is should the English still be allowed to assume that they have colonies all over the world?
Now that I’ve done my share in spreading the good words, I’ll going to enlighten you with 11 random facts about myself:
- Sometimes I daydream about morphing into a unicorn & pooping glitter on people I don’t like, so they don’t take too much offence to the action. You know, keep it assertive but friendly…
- I like to pick my food apart. If there is a chicken wrap with cucumbers, carrots & peppers, I will eat one thing at a time before moving onto the next. Sort of a little OCD involved.
- I switch topics quickly & constantly, so when you think I’m still talking about cars, I’ll be on a mission to share my opinions on whales.
- I have this undying faith in my phone when the battery is on 5% that it will stay alive till the next morning so I can hear my alarm clock go off. Makes sense right?
- When I was 5-6, my parents wouldn’t let me eat a lot of sugary things. When I figured out that I can move a chair to the cupboard, climb on top & access the sugar treats myself, my dad turned evil. He told me my butt-hole would stick shut if I ate too much sugar! Seriously…no judging! I was five & innocent in the ways of believing! Where it gets weird is that I only stopped believing when I was 11…
- Jared Leto has a secret crush on me. He just hasn’t realised it yet.
- Every year, a day before my birthday, I get a phone call from a lady. This has been going on for about five years now. She just doesn’t get the picture of the date being on the 7th, not the 6th.
- I have a “MILD” obsession with polka dots, & the colour lime. & one thing that makes me really really happy are LIME POLKA DOTS!!!
- I’m known at work as the Cup-Incident girl. I once moved my cup of tea across the table & it made a ripping farting noise. To this day, all the guys keep saying that that’s my excuse for farting in public, & blaming it on the “cup”.
- I have this feeling that my mom doesn’t have the heart to tell me that I might have escaped from a mental institution some time ago in my life. I probably can’t remember the details due to hitting my head really hard against something. Someone as crazy as me surely isn’t allowed outside on the streets without supervision or a nice dose of crazy pills!
- I talk to myself…a lot. Out loud. I even have occasional arguments with myself, & lose them. So when anyone spots me or hears me doing this, I break into mumbled singing so the person doesn’t realize what’s going on. I think I’m only convincing myself though.
So now you know a few things about me that I don’t usually do admit or disclose. Nah, that’s a lie. I’m reading this out loud as I’m typing as well…
The blogs that I want to nominate for this award & pass on in the chain are below. Take some time to visit their blogs. They wouldn’t be on this list if they weren’t worth it!
So now that your names have been listed, here is my batch of 11 questions for you!
- Can anyone ever vanish with a trace? Or disappear in fat air instead of thin air?
- If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
- You know how most packages say “Open here”; what is the protocol if the package says, “Open somewhere else?”
- Are eyebrows considered facial hair? And do you think they’ll be offended if they aren’t?
- Is there an expiry date on fortune cookie predictions?
- What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
- Where does the toe-tag go on a dead person if they don’t have any toes?
- If, in a baseball game, the batter hits a ball splitting it right down the middle with half the ball flying out of the park and the other half being caught, what is the final ruling if you were the umpire?
- Can cannibals be arrested for being under the influence of alcohol (DUI) if they have eaten someone who was drunk?
- How do you wake up in the morning? With your eyes closed and feeling your way to the kettle/toilet or do you open your eyes first?
- At what point in man’s evolution did he start wiping his butt?
So now that you’ve been nominated, it’s your choice to accept. If you do choose to accept then here are the 11 steps to follow:
1.Write a blog post about the Liebster Award.
2. Thank the person that nominated you.
3. Post a link to their blog on your blog.
4. Display the award on your blog and include it in your post and/or display it using a widget..
5. Answer the 11 questions about yourself provided by the person who nominated you.
6. Give 11 random facts about yourself.
7. Nominate 5-11 blogs that you feel deserve the award, who have less than 1000 followers.
8. Create a new list of questions for the nominated bloggers to answer.
9. List the rules in your post.
10. Inform the bloggers you’ve nominated them for the Liebster Award. Remember to give them a link to your post so that they can learn about it (they might not have ever heard of it!).
Shouldn’t there be 11 rules? Hmm, maybe the 11th is hitting publish!!