(Monster – 14 Months Old)
(This post should’ve been up on the 26th of September, but as I’ve explained in one of my older posts, there was a delay for good reasons.)
You’re just over 14 months now & I ask myself where is time flying to?
It feels like just the other day you were still a tiny little baby, who didn’t crawl or run around, & definitely didn’t babble as much as you do now.
Time has been rushing past us & I find it so unfair that I don’t have more of it to spend with you. Every day is a rush at home. I get home after work; prepare your dinner, bath you, put you to bed & then start with dinner for Daddy & myself. Where do I fit in time with you?
I’m grateful that I at least get two days of the weekend to spend time with you.
How I wish I could be a stay at home Mommy though; watch you learning, teach you things, (take naps in the afternoons with you), watch you grow, acknowledge your development first hand. Don’t ever think that I didn’t want that option (lifestyle). If I could, I would’ve been with you every day.
Every day you come home with new words that you have learnt & new sounds. A few days ago you started whistling! At 14 months, that’s an achievement, because at 264 months, Mommy still can’t whistle.
I wish you could understand, at this moment, how much you mean to me. You have changed my life around so much; I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. I spend so much time thinking of you during the day while I’m at work. Well, who wouldn’t be able to not think about such a handsome fella! (You’re definitely a charmer already & I’m sure you know that already!).
(Monster – 3 Months Old)
I spend as much time worrying about you as well.
These are the thoughts that run through my mind every day since I found out I was preggies with you:
• Will I always be able to protect my child from anyone evil?
• Will I be able to give him the best education?
• Will I be able to afford University one day?
• Will I be able to give him the best home?
• Will I be able to teach him the correct morals?
• What if I fail as a parent?
• What if one day he doesn’t understand what we went through as a family when he was still so little?
• Will I be able to give him a proper childhood?
• Am I making the correct decisions concerning raising him?
There are probably many more questions & unwanted doubts that swim around in my mind. I’m sure there are, & they usually pop up just when I’m about to doze off in the evenings. I worry 24/7 about you & your present & future. There is nothing worse for me to experience than failing as a parent.
I know I faff a lot over you, but it’s because I’m a Mommy & I’m allowed to. (Most importantly, it’s because I love you & that’s the way you understand that I love you so much my angel.)
Keep smiling every day like you do. Keep being so bright & keep making Mommy proud every day.
Love you, no matter what,